I was such a stupid person.
I was thinking that my motivation was given by boss (assign new project, promotion, etc…).
The motivation is, only in my mind, not be given by anybody.
Just go forward by myself.

We can live without aim/hope or something motivated things.
But those lives are not interesting.
I think everybody wants to archive something in one’s life.

What aim for ?
What is my future view ?

I have to figure out what I really want to be.

Paleo Foods : eat only meats and vegetables, no grains and kinds of potatoes.
People who eat Paleo Foods are called Caveman because this method is based on the way how people live in the Stone Age.
Sounds make sense.
But I think it’s better to take fishes, and it’s not wrong to eat potatoes. Might be only for Asian people though.

When I was young, I had lots of dreams but I had forgot them before I knew it.
I’m alive. But just spend time, wake up, eat, work, sleep … Did I hoped for it ? … No.
I need to think more about my own life, and hopefully I will find something *New Dream* for my life.

I’m gonna think about what I really wanna do in my life. Will make priority on them, and will do.
Then, I hope I could find something important.

Is this same Autumn in your town ?
In Tokyo, No. Too warm weather everyday and still I don’t need to wear knit and coat. So strange.
Usually I put up with chilly weather only with sweater/knit and wool jacket till the end of November then start to wear coat from December.
But, this year, I don’t need to struggle with the weather and still I feel strong sun beam in daytime. So strange.

Do you do something good things for stopping the climate change in your daily life ?

Often people think about what they did in past days …. me too. I can say I’m always.
Most of those are not about good things.
It must be good thing for people because there are many hints for better ways to do the same things.
So, don’t regret the past, just try to another way and be better.

I feel like I had changed after I got the cancer. Actually I don’t feel I’m a unlucky person or something but definitely I became to be able to enjoy my daily life, somehow.
I hated that someone told about my fault if the person tried to let me know it, yeah, I was so bossy….maybe.
Now always those things sounds like joke and I appreciate them.

Finally I could became an mature person ?

I think my English level might be a child in a elementary school for native English speakers but am trying to say something about thoughts, so always it’s very difficult to describe my mind in English.
Why trying to write in English ?
Just would like to share my thoughts with people in all over the world and find different ways of thinking, not with only Japanese.

I believe I can tell something even with my poor vocabulary.

I have breast cancer and just finished chemo therapy 10 days ago. I don’t think the cancer is gone but I’m getting better and better so far (from the side effects).
I heard many people who have cancer depressed, felt so sad, or said “why me ?”, etc, etc ….
But somehow I’ve never felt like that. Just this is my life.
I don’t wanna waste time just complaining, and those thinkings make myself into bad conditions.

So, just trying to be honest myself and will do something what I wanna do.